I Promise I Won’t Do it Again! I Love You!

My intention tonight was to complete my assignment, workout, and then unwind for the evening. Instead, I caught a glimpse of an old episode of the television show called “A Different World” (popular show in the 90’s). In this particular episode, a young lady made excuses for her boyfriend. His fist on her face was accepted by her because he was under a lot of “stress”. Well, this is NOT acceptable.

When dealing with abuse, every situation is unique. Some people will have children involved. Others may truly be in danger-to the point where the abuser might do permanent harm. But if you are fortunate as I was, you’ll be able to walk away… as I did. Just walk away (if you can). Hitting is not acceptable. This is not love. This is not normal behavior. No excuses should be made. We should all have the ability to control our emotions. I remember my heart saying, “He just lost it for one second!” But then my mind knew better. So I left and I NEVER looked back. I changed my number and my home address. I’m not saying you have to go to the same extreme, but that was the best decision I ever made. Who knows? If I stayed, I probably wouldn’t be able to share my story with you.

If you’re in an abusive relationship, I encourage you to seek HELP (if you can). This applies to both male and female. Yes, males can be in an abusive relationship as well. If you know anyone that is in an abusive relationship, I encourage you to SPEAK UP; even if you think it may ruin your relationship with the abused individual. You might lose a friendship, but you just might save a LIFE.

Open up your hearts as well as your eyes! Get involved (if you can)!

Side Note: Abuse is not limited to the physical. It can also be emotional and mental.

The Legend Continues

Today I found out the sex of my sister-in-law & brother’s baby. Although I am bias towards women, after a while I didn’t care if they were having a boy or a girl. I just prayed for a healthy baby. That in itself is a precious gift. With so many obstacles women face, giving birth to a healthy baby is all that matters at the end of the day.

Now that the sex of the baby has been revealed, the family name will continue for another generation. As the eldest child, it was assumed that I would be the first to help start a new generation. Sorry Mom! Sorry Dad! I’ll enjoy being an aunt. LOL. Congrats to you both- Love you! xoxoxo

Side Note: I can’t wait for him to join us!! Counting down the days!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CE3bfKAOmU ”Beautiful Boy”– Celine Dion

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WamkRSDeD8&ob=av2e  “Just The Two of Us”– Will Smith

In My Darkest Hour

In my darkest hour, I fall to my knees and utter the words, “God help me… PLEASE!”
In my darkest hour, my tears flow like a river, but in my heart I know, The Lord will deliver.

In my darkest hour, bad feelings resurface, then I hear the Lord say, “Fret not, I got this!”
In my darkest hour, my fears get the best of me, but the Lord promised, “I won’t forsake thee.”
So when I look to Him, I’m reminded of His undeniable power…In my darkest hour.

Non-Factors Make YOU Even More Relevant

People are going to talk about you whether you’re doing bad or good. So let them talk! As hard as it may be at times, it’s better to leave well enough alone (depending on the situation). Non-Factors are people who thrive off of trying to make everyone else miserable, usually when they are not content with their lives. If anything, remember this- they’re keeping your name in their mouths. Hence, they’re making you more relevant than you already are. Please note that non-factors are also known as haters. Haters love to see you fail, and hate to see you prosper. Well I say, let them hate!

Popular sayings from non-factors/haters:

Non-factor/hater spoken words: You think you’re the “ish”, but you’re really not.
Translation: I wish I could look as fabulous as him/her.

Non-factor/hater spoken words: What the heck are you wearing? Ugh!
Translation: I could never pull that look off. He/she is WORKING that outfit!

Non-factor/hater spoken words: Who needs a degree to get ahead? It’s a waste of my time.
Translation: I wish I had that level of ambition.

Side note: College is not for everyone. We all have different paths. However, don’t discourage those who seek value in furthering their education.

Be a factor! Dare to be unique! When non-factors are bothered by your aspirations, you’re on the right track. So let them TALK!

Keep it Moving!

Pancakes, eggs, bacon, and a caramel macchiato (with extra caramel & whipped cream) for breakfast. For lunch, it varied between a salad or fried foods…mostly fried foods. A large pizza for dinner (in one sitting), followed by a late night snack. This is how I used to consume food before attending a health seminar. Although I was able to maintain a small frame, I was a walking heart attack and one cinnabon away from other health-related issues.

After attending the health seminar, I finally “accepted” the fact that food is meant to nourish the body- not to appease your taste buds. According to the information provided at the seminar, a 20oz. bottle of soda is equivalent to approximately 16 packets of sugar. Soda was never really an issue for me. I will drink it here and there, but NOW I drink it less than before. The video clip of people eating 16 packets of sugar instead of drinking soda was enough to make me change my eating habits. It’s funny how a visual aid can change your perspective on information you already know.

Anyway, after trading the unhealthy foods for healthier selections, I started working out again. I have a bad habit of working out in spurts. I’ll work out for 3 to 4 solid months and then stop for another 3 to 4 months. Consistency is not my strong suit when exercise is involved. Although I’m not crazy about exercising, I will workout for the benefits: reduce the risk of heart attack & stroke, increase energy, look/feel fit, & maintain a healthy weight, among other factors.

My weekly regimen consists of high energy cardio (1 hour, 3 days a week), yoga (30 minutes, 3 days a week), and other techniques that focus on isolated areas (stomach, arms, quads). I’ve traded my sweet lemonade for water and caramel macchiato for green tea/chai tea. However, I will have a caramel macchiato every once in a while. My food selections involve less sugar and less salt, but I will splurge once a week. I don’t think I can go cold turkey. Depriving yourself of everything you like to eat will just set you back even more (for some people). Personally, I prefer to eat healthier, but still treat myself here and there. Everyone will have their own preference. What works for one person may not work for the other. But one thing’s for sure…we have to eat wisely and keep it moving! So move your body!

Will Not Work For FREE!

You’ve probably heard the slogan “There’s no I in team” at some point. But I’m experiencing something a little different. It may appear to be a “team” to anyone looking from the outside in. But looking from the inside out, the “team” is lacking members. You know -the individuals that HIDE so they don’t have to actually work, but STILL get credit. In some cases, this says a lot about upper-level management. I believe everyone should be responsible for his/her own workload. No one should be EXEMPT.

 
I want to make it clear that I will help others (for free) when necessary. For instance: a food drive or any event to help a worthy cause…or simply helping out family/friends. That’s where my humility ends. Only for those who NEED help. Not for those who are LAZY and lack motivation. I often say if people were paid what they were REALLY worth, some would not earn a dime.

 
You ever notice that the individuals looking for their paychecks (relentlessly) are the same individuals that put in the least amount of work? Maybe it’s just me. At any rate, I had to learn how to de-stress myself because this would only run up my blood pressure. My motto is, if you can’t beat them, outsmart them. My methods have put me at ease. However, there are times when I still get a little agitated, but I don’t allow the stress to consume me anymore. Sometimes going to upper-level management is not the best solution (depending upon your work environment). Contacting upper-level management can be a way to reach out, but sometimes the issues still linger. I will still give 110% when it pertains to my duties; helping lazy people…0%. Again, if you can’t beat them…outsmart them!

The Strength of a Woman

The purpose of this blog is to acknowledge the strength of women. I am not discrediting the presence of a man, but I won’t deny the strength of a woman either. I can only give my perspective as a woman.

The strength of a woman allows her to stand firm, endure pain, embrace fear, persevere against all odds, and love with an open heart.

The strength of a woman allows her to keep pressing on when trials and tribulations become insufferable.

The strength of a woman allows her to stare adversity in the face and still have faith.

The strength of a woman allows her to walk into a room (with her head held high) full of judgmental people who question her every move and capabilities. #CorporateAmerica

The strength of a woman allows her to support her children while attending school and/or working full-time/part-time.

The strength of a woman allows her to forgive those who hurt her and those who betrayed her trust.

The strength of a woman allows her to say “I can” when others say “she can’t”.

Some of you may not have children of your own, but many of you have mothered others at some point in your lives. The strong women in our lives (then & now) helped us become the strong women we are today.

 

Not Easily Broken, But Still Fragile.

Every now and then life throws us a punch, and some of us are able to hit right back. But even the toughest person has a moment of vulnerability. As the saying goes, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can NEVER hurt me.” That may be true for some people, but for the rest of us, words can cut like a knife…sometimes. I believe that honesty is the best policy; however, it’s all in the delivery. I don’t like anything sugarcoated, but I also like respect. As I’ve stated in previous blogs, everyone is entitled to their opinion. However, those giving harsh opinions better be ready when the table is turned. If you can dish it, you can eat it!

Anyway, spending time with my girls this past weekend shed some light on friendships and other relationships. It’s no secret that I value my friendships. I used to think (in my adolescent years) that once you became friends with someone, you were friends for life. Then I grew up! I remember coming across a quote which states, “Friendship isn’t about whom you have known the longest… It’s about who came and never left your side”. The author of this quote is unknown (to my knowledge), but the quote never left my mind. It rings so true, especially after the incidents that have occurred in the past few months.

All relationships (friendship, romantic, etc.) can be challenging, but we have to decide if that relationship is going to be beneficial to our lives as we progress. Although it may not feel like a blessing in the moment (while you’re in the storm), sometimes it’s JUST that- a blessing. Think on this. Let’s say you’re receiving blessings left and right…more than you can handle. If the individuals around you genuinely care about your well-being, they are going to be happy for you NO MATTER what is going on in their lives. If there is a lack of support on their end, you may want to reevaluate that relationship. I’m not the type of person to tell anyone to end a friendship or intimate relationship. Ultimately, the parties involved will have to come to that conclusion. However, I do believe it’s important to make sure YOU are happy. You will have to decide if that relationship is worth fighting for. I try to refrain from giving unsolicited advice. Instead, I make an effort to give an open ear. Sometimes that’s all a person needs. Just to talk to someone…who truly cares. Sometimes the best advice is NO ADVICE. In most cases, people already know what they’re going to do. Sometimes they just need you to LISTEN.

“One of the best things anyone can do for you is to reveal EXACTLY who they are.” ~~Abrielle Valencia

Get Nabiha’s single “You” on itunes @ http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/you-single/id495518113

Also view http://abriellev.wordpress.com/2012/02/24/friendship-is-a-two-way-street/

Date Yourself- It’s Okay to be a Free Agent

Sometimes the best dating life involves dating YOURSELF. Being alone for a while can really be beneficial after being in relationships (back-to-back) or dating often. For the first time in over a decade I’ve gone through an entire year without dating anyone. To my surprise it was so liberating. It’s been fun getting to know myself on a different level. I’m not the type of female who needs to be in a relationship or date all the time. For some reason, it just worked out that way. Last year I decided to stop for personal and business reasons. Being in a relationship is nice, but I’m in a different space right now. In the words of Jay-Z, “I’m focused man!” LOL.

Some people have told me that I need to date. I disagree. As I’ve said in a previous blog, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be- by choice. I’ve never been clearer on my decisions in life. Dating yourself may not be for everyone, but I highly recommend it. Will you get lonely? Yes…at times. Are you alone? It depends on how comfortable you are with yourself. Having confidence with someone is not the same as being confident by yourself. Not having that “special” someone around (with the exception of family & friends) will really test your ability to function on a daily basis. I’ve always been an independent woman and I’m PROUD of that. Thanks Mom!! xoxo.

Being a free agent is more feasible when you have goals to accomplish. Between school and work, I don’t have the desired time to spend with my loving family and fabulous friends. However, when I do see them, time spent with them is greatly appreciated. This has been one of the most fulfilling years of my life and I’m ready to take this journey to the next level. Again, this was just my experience and may not be the route for everyone. But it’s okay to date yourself for a little while. We should learn to be by ourselves before being with someone else. Until next time!

~~Living My Life Like it’s Golden!

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Forgiveness of self is im…

Forgiveness of self is impossible until you stop longing for a better past. ~~Author Unknown

This will probably be my most intimate blog to date. I must warn you that the subject is a sensitive matter concerning pro-life and pro-choice. If you are bothered by this topic, you may want to refrain from reading any further. The purpose for this blog is to simply share my story; not to chastise anyone for their decision. Not to pass judgment. Many will have religious views, political views, and strong opinions. But this is me…then, which helped shape who I am…now. And so the story begins.

I was in my early twenties. It was a Monday in the month of May. The time was 1:00 p.m. I made a decision that would change my life forever. I gave away my miracle-the precious gift of love growing inside of me. At that moment I wanted to get my miracle back, but it was too late. Seconds! That’s all it took…less than one minute. Those seconds were not worth the years of guilt and agony (from my experience). I can remember a time when I would cry day in and day out. Only a few people knew my story at the time; those who helped me without judgment. Although my friend did try to change my final decision (out of love), I thought I knew what I was doing. Little did I know that decision would cause a great deal of pain. I prayed on it and “forgot” about it…or so I thought.

Years went by; I’m now in my late twenties. I can’t remember exactly how it happened, but something triggered those suppressed feelings. I thought I was over the pain. After all, I repented. But the issue was forgiveness. Not from The Heavenly Father. The issue was my forgiveness. How can I truly move forward if I haven’t forgiven myself? Self- forgiveness did not come easy. It took a while through prayer and sharing my story with loved ones. Suppressing feelings is a survival mechanism. But sooner or later, that dam WILL break loose.

My best friend once told me, this is something you don’t necessarily get over (like a bad break up); it’s something you learn to live with, but move forward. He was right. Dwelling in the past will cripple your ability to embrace the future. Make your choices. Learn from them. Move on.

In life we make good & bad choices that affect our future. All we can do is ask The Heavenly Father for His guidance and if you’re fortunate enough, you’re surrounded by those who will stand by you through good and bad times (in spite of their opinion). Some people may look at me differently after reading this. But the truth of the matter is, this is me… then, which helped shape who I am…now. And so the story continues…