Inspired by Andy Stanley
“Happily ever after has nothing to do with finding the “right” person. Happily ever after has everything to do with becoming the RIGHT person; becoming a person WORTH pursuing.” ~Andy Stanley
I’m Perfect! Right?
Some of us want to find the “right” mate to date, but we should ask the question, would “I” date “myself”? Some of us “think” we are ready to be in a relationship, but we’re not. Do we ever think that God is trying to prepare us for that “special” someone? Do we ever think that God is preparing that “special” someone for us? I’ve had great “chemistry” with few men, but was their really a deep connection beyond the lust and intellect? What was missing? — > The bond that connects us spiritually. Although I’ve managed to have long-term relationships, these relationships did not last. So as some of us are on the hunt to find the “right” mate, ask yourself, “Am I the person that I’m looking for (Andy Stanley)?” Am I “right” for Mr. or Ms. Right? Take a look at the pattern of past relationships or casual dating partners. You may not necessarily be the “issue” in failed relationships, but your issue may be holding you back from a healthy relationship. In other words, you may be the most considerate, loving, trustworthy individual, but does that so-called “special” someone possess the same traits? Are you treated the way you treat your mate (assuming you treat him/her in a respectful manner)? Or are you allowing unacceptable behavior? I believe some of us should date ourselves for a little while before trying to develop a relationship with someone else. We’d be amazed at some of the things we discover about ourselves (assuming this is taken seriously). So, would you date yourself? Ask yourself the questions below:
Do I have a strong relationship with God?
Will I bring any debt into this relationship?
Will I bring any mommy/daddy issues into this relationship?
Am I still harboring feelings for someone else?
What is my purpose for wanting to be in a relationship?
Am I looking for a mate or am I looking for someone to “fix” my problems (Ex: financially)
Do I want to be in a relationship because I’m lonely or because I’m ready?
Out With The Old, In With The New
Dating someone else to get over heartbreak? This may work for some people, but not for others. I am part of the “others” group. After my last breakup, I was in no condition to date. One mistake that I’ve made in the past was getting to know someone else immediately after I got to know someone else. Let me rephrase; building a relationship with someone else after a bad breakup. Some people think it’s a cure for getting over someone else. Really? I disagree (as I often do- LOL). I mean, is it fair to bring my unresolved issues into a potential relationship? I won’t say that this “quick fix” hasn’t worked for others. But I will say this is not the right “remedy” for me. This is not a one-size-fits-all solution. Everyone has a different personality and a different way of handling situations. What stopped me from repeating the “on to the next” pattern? I had to ask myself the following questions:
How’s my relationship with God?
Did I deal with the disappointment of my last relationship?
Will I use this potential relationship to get over my last relationship?
Did I take time out for — > me?
Will I have a new outlook or will I compare this potential relationship to my past relationships?
Am I truly ready to try again?
I repeat, some of us want to find the “right” mate to date, but we should ask the question, would “I” date “myself”? “What we do today, will become our past, which will eventually catch up to our future.” ~Andy Stanley
Check out Andy Stanley’s “The Right Person Myth” — > Here
Check out Andy Stanley’s “The Gentlemen’s Club” — > Here
Be sure to check out — > Date Yourself- It’s Okay to be a Free Agent